Letter #4 - Universal Listener, Existential Thinker
This letter is part of a project to document the unfolding of a friendship online, together with Charlie Rumsby. The letters are self-contained, and are full of good recommendations, thoughts and feelings. If you have missed Charlie’s first letter to me, you can read it here. You can now also subscribe directly to the letters feed if you’d like to receive those only.
Letter #2 – 04, April, 2025
Dear Charlie,
First of all, I am so sorry it’s taken me this long to reply. I went home for a few days and it turned my schedule upside down. I am now back in London and picked things up where I left them. I promise to reply a lot faster next time.
You have no idea how big of a smile I had on my face when I played your running playlist. We never talked about our taste in music, and it was a complete surprise to discover an entire playlist of dancehall tracks. It’s always been my guilty pleasure. It was a joy to hear the tracks I used to listen to all the time.
A universal listener.
At the beginning of March, on International Women’s Day, I went to see French musician Oklou. She was showcasing her latest release, Choke Enough, at Rough Trade in London. Her music is miles away from dancehall, but I do love it. I am, as some say, a “universal listener,” and I just love a good track, whatever genre it may be. Oklou’s music is very dreamy, melancholic, and built around delicate vocals. If you like artists like Caroline Polachek, FKA twigs, or Erika de Casier, I think you might enjoy it.
And just this week, I went to see the Cabaret musical, which was absolutely incredible. It was the first time I went to see a musical, believe it or not, and I don’t know why I waited so long. It was so much fun. The costumes, the singing, and the dancing, it was magical. I think, in another life, I would have been a costume designer for theatre. Have you seen many musicals?
An existential thinker.
I listened to the podcast you mentioned in your last letter on my way to work, and it was extremely soothing. I did have a brief moment of dissociating from reality, listening to the birds chirp and hearing about the beauty of the natural world while waiting for a noisy train on a grey day. It felt unnatural to walk into a massive building with a MacBook safely packed when, really, I should be climbing up trees with bare feet. I think you know what I mean.
Last year, among the myriad of other things I wanted to start, I thought about starting a book club. I parked the idea because I feared I wouldn’t be able to keep up with it (and a big thing for me this year is to be consistent). I named it The Unreal Book Club, and it never saw the light of day (ironic). I’d love to know more about how you run yours. I might pick the idea back up at some point.
On a reading slump.
I read Elif Shafak’s The Forty Rules of Love many years ago, fourteen, I think—while traveling around New Zealand’s South Island. I remember really loving this book and feeling so inspired by it. I didn’t know anything about Sufism and grew to appreciate and respect it by the end of the book. I remember rushing to read Rumi’s poetry and attending the Cambridge Literary Festival to have a book signed by Elif herself. Maybe could attend this year’s Spring edition?
I am currently trying to finish Eliza Clark’s Boy Parts before buying anything new, but I have been in a bit of a reading slump. I think there are too many books I want to read, and too little time. Also, Deborah Levy’s Hot Milk adaptation to the screen has a new release date: 4th of July. I loved that novel, and I am both excited and anxious about watching it on the big screen. I often read Peter Bradshaw’s Guardian reviews, and he has given it 3 stars only. I am refraining from reading further just yet.
I’m not sure if you saw this, but last month the Platonic Vibes newsletter was featured in Capsule, a weekly pop culture newsletter for “people who love talking about fashion, culture, and the internet.” Holly Bedingfield wrote about the highs and lows of contemporary friendship, and I thought the piece was really good. I am so happy our experiment got a mention too.
Turning 34.
Finally, I turned 34 on the 29th of March (which makes me an Aries). I don’t know how I feel about getting older. I guess the best way is to embrace it? I like the serenity it is giving me at the moment. At this age, one big life changing decision is looming though: children. Writing it in plural feels even scarier. Do I really want a child? And is that even the right question to ask? It’s very much on my mind at the moment.
I don’t know if you saw this, but Chappell Roan’s comment on parenthood went viral. She said that she doesn’t know “anyone who’s happy with children at her age” which obviously angered a lot of people. I personally I think placing happiness at the intersection between having or not having children is the wrong approach. I think people are happy and sad with or without children. I would love to know more about your experience.
I am just so very fascinated by the fact, that my body can create life that it seems too big of a miracle to ignore. But on one hand, I am scared of how different my life could look like, because I like it the way it is now. And on the other, I am so excited about bringing a new human being into the world and seeing life through a different perspective. I don’t feel ready, but at the same time, I don’t think anyone is ever ready.
About that, I also went to a screening of The Guardian documentaries at the Bertha DocHouse in Bloomsbury. Among the four films screened was a short documentary called Harvest, which follows a woman named Sophia as she embarks on the physically and emotionally gruelling journey of harvesting her eggs in her 30s. I never knew the process could be so challenging, and I thought the film effectively conveys what one must go through in order to ‘buy time.’
Training and Healthy Food.
I am now halfway through my training for the Hackney Half Marathon. It’s been keeping me sane and in shape, and I feel so grateful to have a body that’s healthy and a brain that is strong. As a result of training, I am making an effort to cook healthy meals, and there is one in particular that I have been making on repeat, so I thought I would share the recipe with you.
It’s very simple: mix up tomatoes, cucumbers, mint, dill, pomegranate, and onion with a bit of salt, olive oil, and lemon juice. Then you prepare your meat, either lamb or vegan meat (I go vegan for this one) in a pan with garlic and olive oil, then break the meat up and cook it. At the very end, add a bit of harissa paste to taste. To serve, spread two spoonfuls of hummus, top with the meat, and finally the salad. Serve with two pita breads and let me know what you think.
That’s it, I am out of breath.
Take care,
Alice